Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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