well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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