We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
