There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
