Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
