so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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