Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
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It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
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Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize