i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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