I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
