hotel room ftw
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
