I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
You're like the curious george of whores
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
