Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
