My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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