We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
