Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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