Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
