So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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