I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
