I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
this just has baby written all over it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
