Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
