Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
