why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The struggles of a small town man whore
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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