sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
