Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
