Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
