I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
