I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
