i think i have two assholes
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
