Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
