If i come over, it means nothing
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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