I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
