There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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