I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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