I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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