Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
