I feel like abortions should bother me more
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
