My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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