Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
