He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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