it wasn't lemon gatorade
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
