worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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