Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
