i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
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i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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