I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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