y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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