Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize