out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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