I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
