sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
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