covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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