Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
