I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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