Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I touched a dick in church today
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
