not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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