Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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