My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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