i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
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Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
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Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
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